Knucklehead by Matt Lennox

Author:Matt Lennox [Lennox, Matt]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781443432542
Publisher: HarperCollins Canada
Published: 2015-10-14T16:00:00+00:00

ELEVEN

On the 23rd of April, the scales told me I was 225 pounds. The mirror told me that my body was powerful all over, that I was starting to succeed again. I looked thick and strong and jacked. The mirror made me believe that I was almost ready enough for whatever the future held. The mirror made me believe I was strong enough to take on all the fucked-up things that were happening in the present.

I slapped my own face, hard, and reminded myself of the weakness, the weakness that was always waiting to take over, the weakness hiding in my own heart. I couldn’t ever stop battling the weakness.

Then I swallowed my gear and got ready for the gym.

CHASTITY’S FAMILY HAD MOVED TO CHATHAM, AN HOUR away from Altena, when me and Darren and Chastity were all eighteen and finishing up high school. At the time, Chastity hadn’t relocated with her family. Instead she’d moved in with her boyfriend, Adam, the painkiller guy. Six months later, popping pills, she’d gotten pregnant. And all the rest of what followed was what I already told you.

I sat on my bike across the street from the house where Chastity’s family still lived. The front yard and the house were pretty well-maintained. Red brick, white trim, new shingles on the roof, a satellite dish, a detached two-car garage. On the driveway in front of the garage was a trailer with a big new-model ATV strapped to it.

I manoeuvred into the driveway behind the trailer. I dropped my kickstand and turned off the engine and took off my helmet. The day was another nice one, but the ride from Altena, after my workout, had chilled me. I flexed my fingers and toes.

Up close, I got a better look at the ATV—500cc, not more than a month out of the dealership. Something about it bothered me.

I could hear voices coming from the backyard. One was unmistakably my aunt Glenna’s. Another voice was soft and high-pitched. A little kid’s voice. Nevaeh.

I didn’t go toward the backyard, and for almost a full minute I didn’t even approach the front door. I’d been out here a handful of times over the years. The last time I remembered was a barbecue for Chass’s birthday during one of the times she and her mom were getting along. But that was two years ago. I hadn’t seen these people since then.

These people, blood ties, family, same as Chastity.

I’d called her again that day, and again I didn’t get anything but her voice-mail message. By now I knew the message almost by heart. I knew the tones of her speech, I knew all the little pops and hisses of background noise between words. Although I hadn’t left another message for a couple days now, I’d begun listening to the recording from beginning to end, every time I called. I don’t know why. Listening for some clue, I guess. Some sign.

I’d also called ahead, here, to Aunt Glenna’s house, but the line had just rung and rung with nobody answering.

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